Busy doesn't begin to describe the last two weeks. I've spent more time away from my house than in it. Dad is has been in and out of the hospital. Twice now. I think. It all has been running together. It's made me reflect on the concept
of time.
I've struggled with wanting to go backwards:
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Dad and his long hair. Hippie.
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I've struggled with wanting to fast forward. I've forgotten how to enjoy a simple moment in time. A conversation. A family dinner. Nightly Routines. Weekends.
I've been Sad, Angry, Exhausted, Disappointed, Frustrated, did I say exhausted?
Anyway, God has been present in all of this. I chose to ignore Him. I chose to not thank Him for my strength (when I had it), His healing presence in my Dad, His protection and love of Grant and I through this terrible heartache everyday. I'm seeing God's work in progress. I guess I fail to realize He's working with me and through me in these trying times. I know He was with me last night. He gave me strength when I had none. He provided me joy when I had sadness. And, He blessed me with the greatest gift and joy I'll ever know, my sweet son.
Last night was different. I had fun again. I wasn't expecting it. I was actually so tired I didn't think I'd get through the nightly routines. Dad got moved to his new "home away from home" (or his tiny matchbox, as he would call it), and Grant and I were able to finish homework at the hospital before we moved Dad so when we got home and were able to, well, play, hang out. I put laundry on hold and my usual OCD cleaning and sat still with my son.
We laughed. And laughed. We joked and danced and ran around the house. I felt like taking pictures again and capturing our moments.
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Cleaning out Under the Bed-Only because he found his
cool light up skull Nene and Mike gave him |
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Oh, and we got 2 dwarf water frogs. Henry and Marley. |
And what better way to the end the day: