Dad

                                          I miss you.

My heart is broken and nothing is making it better.

I miss talking to you everyday at 4:00.
I miss hearing how the elder box bugs have invaded your house and you can't get rid of them.
I miss asking you what soccer match you're watching and having no idea what your talking about when you tell  me.
I miss reading the paper with you. Trading sections after 5 minutes because there was nothing worth reading anyway.

I still keep your number in my phone. Still have D for Dad on speed dial.

No matter where I go or what I'm doing I'm reminded of you. A song on the radio or some memory from long ago flows through my mind.

I finished going through the "boxes" of paperwork you kept. I found so many sweet cards you kept. Some from when I was Grant's age. And the pictures and drawings. And oh my the receipts you kept. Pretty sure we've kept the shred-it company in business this year.

I'm glad you're not sick anymore. It's so weird to not call the hospital everyday and try and get an answer out of someone. Or argue with someone. Or wait hours and hours for the doctor to come by. As much as I despised the battle, I'd trade it anytime for one more conversation with you. One more hug. One more walk. One more Man vs Food, Judge Judy or Andy Zimmerman eating a bug. One more trip to the health food store.

We pray for you every night. Grant says "and Grandpa Dod in Heaven".  He still asks for Luden's from time to time. I bought a box the other day, just because.

I thought this was supposed to get easier as time carries on. It's been a month. And it isn't. You're not coming back. Your planning, Type A, can handle anything daughter can't handle this one.  And you're not here to help me through it.

I wear your ring religiously. I spin it around on my finger all the time. I suppose part of you will always be with me. I'll always remember our goodbye and like you said....I'll miss ya. I love you, Dad.