Thursday, December 29, 2011


Taken from my daily Purpose Drive Life:

But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God.” (Romans 13:11 MSG)

We manage time; we waste time. We spend time; we save time. We wish the time would come; we wish the time would pass. We see time fly; we feel time drag. We watch clocks and carry calendars, creating the illusion that we somehow control time, yet all the while moments flow forward like a mighty river that cannot be stopped, harnessed, or re-routed.

Yet, God controls time. He created time and we, his creations, are fenced by his time, directed and guided by his holy and loving hand. The year 2012 is a gift of time from God.

How will you use it?

I remember talking to  Dad last year at this very time, discussing 2011. I was just so sure "next year" would be better than 2010. I think we both wanted to believe that.  Dad had a terrible ending to 2010 and I always tried to focus on tomorrow, things will get better.

Things got worse.  Life got hard. The battle became too much.

And now he's gone. There are no more tomorrows for him.  Or New Year's to contemplate about.

Time is fleeting. There is no more time with my Dad. Just one sided talks with an urn.

I have a new perspective of "time".  Time with loved ones. Time spent in quiet reflection and grief. Time spent in prayer. Time watching Grant grow and experience life.

Hopefully 2012 will bring new joys and less sorrows.  Although the sorrow in my heart is no where near over,  there is still the idea that things will indeed get better.

Happy New Year, Dad. I miss you.

1 comment:

  1. I love this. I might blog about this too, but I've been kind of fearing 2012. I think I don't want 2011 to end because my mom was in 2011. She was still here for the first five months of it anyway. She won't and will never be in 2012. I won't have a single memory of her in 2012. That makes me so sad. But then, like you said in your post, time is a gift from God. I can spend my time wisely in 2012-- enjoying my kids, Mike, growing closer to God, etc. And I can be thankful for the 34 years I had with my mom.

    This road of grief is so strange and difficult and painful. I think about you so much. Just know I understand. I really, really understand. Love you!